Go out to socialize for a minute, go home and lie down for three hours.
01 the hustle and bustle are theirs. I have nothing.
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after refusing the social King 168 dinner for the fifth time, two weeks later, he launched his sixth weekend dinner invitation. I am so immortal that I have posted a circle of friends who do not work overtime today to express my delight. Around nine o'clock, he called directly. The excuses of working overtime, coming to my aunt, having a fever, being lovelorn with friends, and going back to my hometown were all used in writing, but my brain circuit could not think of a sixth excuse for direct telephone refusal. I was so worried that I didn't sleep well all night.
the next night, the game was staggered. As I expected, looked around for a week. Others turned distance into friendship in a few words, and I only knew him. When I got home, I felt as hard as lifting two hundred jin of iron.
socialize for one minute and charge for two hours.
according to statistics, good interpersonal relationships can make the success rate of work and personal happiness reach more than 85%. On the other hand, I hate all kinds of social activities, and I hate going to social dinners even more.
since childhood, the teacher said that we should be active, healthy, cheerful, and lively. Such a child can always get an aversion in the final evaluation, and we will be held by the teacher's hand and say: this child, there is no problem, just a little introverted, does not like to talk to others.
I always reassure myself that I am not the most special person. there are always people who are as resistant to communicating with strangers as I am in this social environment.
when I grew up, I read a sentence that Zhou Guoping once said:
"I am inherently unsociable. On most occasions, I either find the other person boring, or I am afraid that the other person will find me boring. But I don't want to put up with each other's boredom, nor do I want to bother to make myself look interesting. I'm too tired. I am the most relaxed when I am alone because I do not feel boring, even if boring, but also bear it, do not involve others, and do not feel uneasy. "
when people live for decades, they have to live as if they were comfortable. Began to re-understand the primary school textbook Zhu Ziqing "Lotus Pond Moonlight" in the sentence: the lively is theirs, I have nothing.
02 fewer words do not mean aloof
make an appointment to get a manicure before the festival. When I stepped into the store and saw my little sister trot at me with an incomparably warm smile and took my hand, I smelled despair.
"Darling, where are you from?"
"Honey, how long have you been in Beijing?"
"Honey, do you think this color is all right?"
"Are you thirsty, honey?"
"Honey, if you're hot, you can take off your clothes."
I spent an hour in the manicurist's death questions. I didn't drink water or take off my clothes, and a series of problems made me a clockwork robot.
like Emily in Angel Love Beauty, she grows up strong and fragile and expresses her kindness to the world in another way. if you like freaks, I'm very beautiful.
03 I am not introverted, but I am not familiar with you
the most frightening thing is not to meet a ghost in the elevator, but to meet a colleague in the elevator. There are only two lines of tears for each other, and finally, saying hi falls into the silence of death.
Social phobia is no longer a special phenomenon. If you search for social phobia as a keyword, you will find that the results have been rising year by year since 2016. everyone is just like you, reticent in the crowd, sweating in front of strangers, but in some moments, in front of some people, like talking.
on the other hand, those who help people to be aloof, quiet, and difficult to get along with are just because they have never had a chance to understand. behind their poor speech, there is some goodwill that they do not want to cause trouble to others and that they do not want to change their persistence.
"there is a true meaning in it, but you forget to say it if you want to distinguish it."
as Schopenhauer said in "the positive thinking of a pessimist":
A wise man is like a musician who plays a solo instrument and gives concerts without the help of others. if an unfortunate event has happened and cannot be changed, we should no longer think that it might turn into something else, let alone how it could have been avoided in the first place. Because this kind of thinking will increase your distress, make things unbearable, and make you a person who asks for trouble.