Even if I am promising, even if I hate it, even if I am far away from home, this feeling is especially strong when I am alone on a holiday that is supposed to be reunited: I find self-affirmation in the big city, but lose my sense of belonging. The sense of belonging is because of your tea and meal, some noisy, some lively, these bring me.
I have two sisters. When the eldest sister was rebellious, her grandmother always had a headache. at a very young age, she went to school in Xi'an alone until she got married and had children, and settled there. When I graduated from high school, my eldest sister came back to get her driver's license and lived in her house at that time. I think if she wasn't my sister, we would be very good friends. She is five years older than me. In my memory, she will always have a face that pursues freedom and is braver than anyone else. A few years ago, she brought her brother-in-law home for the Spring Festival for the first time. We gathered around the dinner table. Her big wavy curls fell on her shoulders. She looked very gentle and a little shy.
my second sister is synonymous with a high achiever. When we were young, we sat on the sofa watching "returning Pearl Lattice" and "Iron Tooth Bronze teeth Ji Xiaolan". Even my favorite Harry Potter was all because of her leadership. The advantage of having a sister high achiever is that she has a good tutor. But when she talks to me about math problems, all I can think about is the beautiful extra-curricular books that have been added to her shelf. I have always thought that what I love so much now is because I saw such a rich world in her study when I was a child.
my grandparents moved into the house where the second sister used to live. All kinds of flowers and golden trees were carefully planted in the big yard behind the house. Until now, we will set off fireworks in this yard on time on New Year's Eve. The second sister was a graduate student in Harbin, and we seldom saw each other. That year, from her space photos, I first saw her not as a sister, but as another girlfriend. My second brother-in-law is from Tieling. On his wedding day, his northeast dialect made people laugh and moved. A collection of sand paintings was played on the big screen behind them, showing them for many years. My second sister stood on the stage and looked the same as in the photos when she was a child. Their eyes are clear and firm. I don't know why I suddenly remembered a poem from the primary school textbook that day: "the fisherman on the boat, wearing a coir coat and fighting a hat, went fishing on the river alone in the cold." I also remember that every time I recited and dictated, I couldn't help thinking of her name.
my brother is ten years younger than me. I have seen him lying in the hospital cradle on the day he was born, and I have coaxed him for dinner. After he is no longer a child, I wrestle with him once a year, but I have been unable to beat him since last year.
when I was a child, the child I could hold in my arms was much taller than me. His junior high school was not far from my house. I often passed by. Sometimes during the holidays, the students walked out of the school gate one after another. Every time I looked out of the window very carefully, I didn't know if I could quickly identify him in the crowd.
on the way we each grew up, I missed the growth of my two sisters and my brother. Ever since I was a child, I was not a sister who liked to cling to my sisters, nor was I a sister who knew how to establish a deep relationship with my brother. When I was watching the Longcheng trilogy, I envied the life tracks closely intertwined among West decision, East Ni, and Nanyin. but my sister, brother, and I gradually became independent of each other.
however, people are very strange, and relatives are also strange. Although we rarely see each other, although we walk on different roads and go to different places, there is always a subtle connection that makes me feel cordial no matter how long it takes me to meet again, even if there is no topic to talk about. Also often feel that their existence in life is a very warm thing when they do not meet.
but if I have a chance to grow up again, I want to change the story of growing up. I'm going to be a sister who always runs around behind my sisters and a sister who complains about losing her temper with her sisters when she doesn't understand at puberty. It seems that I have never bullied my brother, this time, I must take advantage of his not growing up to find the opportunity to bully him, grab his biscuits and toys, make him cry and coax him, and wait for him to go to school. I will interrogate him now and then if he has any female classmates he likes.
of course, I know that growth is an irreversible process. Then, I hope that in the parallel world, I can have a more common intersection with them as much as possible, and create more memories that belong to several of us. I will try very hard to bind us to each other and be intimate with each other.
what we miss in this world, I hope there can be a parallel world to find the same for us.
the part of your life that is connected to your family
is a stronghold that gives you the strength to make a comeback at any time.
We will go a long way.
We are eager to see the sky bigger.
however, it is always the hometown where we turn around and leave.
We often use the moon to care for our families.
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not only love the moon but there are not many things hanging there.
maybe growing up means that we can no longer end every day with "see you tomorrow".
We are all on the road of drifting away from home, family, and hometown.
but, the people I care about,
how can I have the heart to look at you from a distance?
even if I am successful, even if I hate it, even if I am far away from home, this feeling is especially strong when I am alone on a holiday that is supposed to be reunited: I found self-affirmation in the big city, but lost my sense of belonging, because of your tea and meal, some noise, some excitement, which brought me.
because you are where you are, home is where you are.