since the beginning of May, I have lamented "Why is everyone getting married?" every day, my little sister and I are discussing wedding pictures in our moments and marvel at why we all found the ideal marriage partner overnight. since the last breakup, the days of being single have been counted by the years.
what's even sadder is that the longer we stay single, the more we seem to lose the ability to love and be loved.
I, a little sister, broke up with my ex-boyfriend in 2019 because she was still chatting online after falling in love. At first, when he was caught, he apologized and promised that he would never do it again, but then he made repeated mistakes, and the trust between the two gradually diminished.
having been together for a long time, the little sister also found that the boy had ups and downs in his mood. Good times are especially good, but they also lose their temper because of some inexplicable little things, and occasionally they can no longer read it after saying "I want to be alone". The two of them have experienced various disputes such as smashing cups, smashing cell phones, and losing contact. Finally completely separated.
after that, the little sisters had an instinctive rejection of boys. Reality also keeps telling her that it is not easy to find a good boy to fall in love with.
the first boy, a doctor, chatted online, but when he made an appointment, the boy asked to go to a private cinema, and the little sister did not agree for safety reasons. They just had a simple meal. During this period, the boys have been moving their hands and feet, putting up a shoulder and grabbing the forearm, and so on, so they never see each other again.
the second boy, who never met, just kept chatting online and getting to know each other. Strangely, boys often disappear, mainly in the evenings and weekends. When asked, the other person said that he was too tired during the day, went to bed early, and the little sister could not see through him.
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the third boy, to put it bluntly, does not want a stable relationship, relaxed and comfortable is the most important, the simple understanding is to find a companion to sleep with.
in short, the emergence of a series of bad "peach blossoms" has greatly affected her sense of the experience of love. She asked me, am I the legendary "scum-sucking physique"? Why do all the boys I meet have problems? am I no longer fit to fall in love?
I told her that it was not you who sucked dirt, but the boys you met, they were all so insincere.
for example, the first doctor never wanted to fall in love with you, but just wanted to find someone to relieve his loneliness. when he met you, he was testing your bottom line and wanted to know to what extent you would refuse. He is not sincere to love, but also not honest with you.
besides, the second boy often disappears, either the Sea King is raising fish and flirting with him when he thinks of it, or he has a girlfriend and is with each other when he disappears, no matter what kind of appearance he shows. It's not what a serious lover should do, in the final analysis, it's not honest.
in contrast, in this pile of peach blossoms, I am more "optimistic" about the person who simply wants to have sex, at least he is sincere and straightforward enough to state his needs directly and clearly, and then see if you can accept it. I didn't pretend to like you or pretend to be infatuated.
the little sister said, is there no good boy to fall in love with? I said that in fact, there are, but everyone must open their eyes and put aside the fog on the surface to feel each other's sincerity.
this is why many people choose to be single actively. The work has been very hard, do not want to waste more time and energy, judging whether the relationship is true or false.
so what should a good love look like? As mentioned earlier, honesty is very important.
whether to be frank or not.
adhering to the principle that "whoever takes it seriously first loses", it is the practice of children.
it doesn't matter whether the girl is reserved or not, and there is no need for the boy to lick the dog.
the heartbeat is rare enough, so don't leave any regrets.
be honest about whether you are bored or not.
you don't have to grow old together to be in love.
you and I get on the train at the same station. If someone wants to get off first, we can understand.
like the phrase sung in "late Marriage", "if you don't get a score, say that no one is allowed to pretend first." the experience of being together is also a part of love, so you don't have to force anyone to accompany you to the end of your life.
whether you are happy, to be honest, or not.
Love should be the icing on the cake, not the icing on the cake.
only positive love is worth our hard work.
if you feel compromise and discontent in love, you can communicate directly, there is no need for self-grievance, and let another person bear the "silent complaint" for nothing.
love honesty is a very difficult thing. Only when we all open our hearts thoroughly can we better maintain a relationship, enjoy every moment of love in the present, and face the challenges of the future together.
it is said that love is the most complicated thing in the world. Yes, it is unclear. We look forward to it, but we are also afraid of it. We may become better people in love, or we may be beaten back.
from "me" to "us", from one person to two people, there are too many actions and emotions:
temptation, ambiguity, heartbeat, enthusiasm, violence, quarrel, hurt, hug, peace, kissing, helplessness, etc., good and bad, happy and sad, are all part of the relationship.
is another 520 of the year, which belongs to the day of love. Okamoto is in this. Special node planned an activity with the theme of "before we become us", together with you, disassemble and analyze the intimate relationship more deeply, and gain a better "we".
this 520, whether you are single or in love, married or in a new phase of knowing yourself, can explore, think about, and try to solve these "us" questions with Okamoto.