I seem to have written a long love letter with light and shadow.
December 31, 2014, the last day of that year. With a few seconds left, when I was in the third year of high school, I was buried in the waist-like silence by countless snowflakes of examination papers, desperate and numb.
by the time the pen is down, the time is cleared and the calendar jumps to 2015 unprepared. New year's Eve only facing this seems to never finish the examination paper, it seems that it is really a little bleak. So I turned on my cell phone and wanted to start the new year with a "love portrait" that I had been in love for a long time.
at the beginning of the movie, Chengren received a letter from Jingliu from New York. She said, "memories always come when you least expect them to, so I always take my camera with me." I didn't want to forget what you said, so I started taking pictures. "
the memory of the third year of senior high school seems to be hidden behind the frosted glass covered with water vapor, long and vague. Had it not been for the hastily taken images in the album, the memory of the whole year would have been only three or four pages in the diary.
maybe because I have been used to thinking with images instead of words for a long time, my words are like broken remnants, so that my manuscripts were killed in the first few days of chaos. I tried to imitate the structure and expression of the previous tweets, but they were not like each other. The editor-in-chief said: "Writing needs reality, it needs a kernel, and that kernel is' you'." Since you like photography, you must have something to say. "
so, today is an article about photography, actually about me.
"since when do you play photography?" This is a question that many people will ask me. To tell you the truth, I can't remember which year or month it was. All I know is that I seem to have written a long love letter with light and shadow.
A long time ago, I loved a literary teenager. We live different lives in two different southern cities, a lot of letters, occasional phone calls, and seldom see each other. Only the similar temperature and sky in each season and the roughly synchronized cloudy and sunny days make us feel that we are not too far away from each other. We use cell phones with extremely bad pixels to take pictures of the sky every day, even without a filter, we are still willing to send each other such "sky-flavored letters".
it was a new era of cameras on mobile phones. We didn't have the concept of photography, nor did we know how to use up the skills of composition. We simply thought, I want to share all the beautiful things with you. I want to freeze all the unknown points on the map so that I can take a picture with you in the future. So press the shutter, so this action is only the product of "emotional trigger", and the meaning of the photo is only the carrier of emotion.
time has witnessed the change of the way of development, while the function of expression and meaning of photography has not changed. Later, we all had our own cameras and really came into contact with "photography". He likes the instant film of Polaroid, and I like the same old film process. So every time I met him with a film camera, he would ask me helplessly, "what's the point of not seeing?" Wash it out and see that it is no longer the mood it is now.
Why do you like film? Because in the digital age where the output of photos is high and efficient, this form of seeing beauty at a glance appears thin and alienated in the vertical dimension of time, so it is difficult for us to see the traces of time precipitation in the image, while film can.
before shooting, you need to make more preparations, but you can't check it immediately after pressing the shutter. You can't format your memory at will because of your mood. After shooting, you have to go through the steps of developing, fixing, washing and drying. Improper temperature or operation will affect the quality of the image. So I pay special attention to the crack screen every time, and every time I press the shutter, I am full of ritual. I often compare film to a time capsule. You hide the unknown scenery in the film. The memory developed after 36 pictures is the richest gift of time.
Love is actually similar to portrait. Different tools are like different emotional expressions. You are used to being warm and direct, and I like to be reserved and profound. The most romantic thing I can think of is to burn all the film for you, but you don't know how to wait. So at the end of the story, we said goodbye.
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Chen Yizhen said, "I love photography, in large part because I like the lonely nature of photography. There can only be one pair of eyes behind a camera, and a shutter can only be given to the only finger. It is fun to judge quickly when it is impossible to analyze. It's hard for people to be here and there at the same time, but when you see the pictures you've just taken, all the moments that have existed bloom together, and the richness and joy of life are in it. "
for a long time after being lovelorn, I dare not turn the previous photo album again, because the image does not lie, it turns abstract memory into an entity intertwined with light and shadow, which cannot be tampered with in a moment of freeze. You try to look for signs of perfunctory and betrayal in the photo in order to give up more quickly, but what you see is always the sincerity at that time and the smile of yesterday. How beautiful the memory is, how painful it is to recall.
during that time I took pictures crazily, and the camera became my inseparable lover. As if it was a kind of catharsis, taking pictures became the only break in my emotion. You left my world, and through the viewfinder, I found another world. Lovers will go far, and the camera can accompany you to wander.
over the years, the cameras in my cabinet are full of first love, old love and new love, and more and more people begin to play photography, resulting in a sharp decline in the nobility of photography in the field of art. People began to question whether it was taken.The threshold of shadow is too low. In fact, photography, like composition and painting, is the expression of self-intrinsic value orientation and the feeling of beauty, there is no difference between which is good or bad, promotion to become a master requires a long time of immersion and training, the only difference is that different people choose their best and most accurate means of expression, that's all.
I don't have much ambition, nor do I want to delve into the meaning of too much dissent. All I know is that pressing the shutter is a natural habit. All I know is that the camera connects me with the world I love. I only know that when the memory of words does not rise, I can write my story in lens language.
A long time later, I developed the last roll of film that I had never had the courage to develop at that time. The 36th photo was taken by me through the bus glass, his face out of focus standing on the platform in the rain. Rain Water knocked on the blue tile, and he said goodbye to me on a windless afternoon in the south. I sent him the film, like a time capsule that had been buried for years.