I'm under a lot of pressure.
two people in an intimate relationship, like those who constantly change their tricks to play tai chi, are evenly matched opponents and symbionts who keep radians. If the score of intimacy is 100, two people will always explore each other in their respective fields. In such a social environment, we always feel that men should pay more, because men always have a lot of moral responsibilities, such as getting married, getting married, and having children. When we say that in a relationship, a man earns more than his girlfriend, we feel that the girl has found a good partner, happy and stable. And I, just the opposite example, I earn less than my girlfriend, or even, far less than her.
these things are not so obvious when we first fall in love. In most cases, we are one and a half. Although not every account is settled, we will have a tacit understanding of each other. My girlfriend is an exquisite person, although I know she does not pursue fashion brands, the educational concept from a small family is: "expensive is not necessarily good, but should not be wrong." "
so my girlfriend never goes to the vegetable market, but always goes to the fresh supermarket, from fish and shrimp to organic vegetables, lying quietly in the box. She always goes to restaurants with an average of 500 + per capita, and she also buys top skincare products. Of course, she will also be very generous to me, we live with each other, and she never lets me bear more, but the more she does, the more uncomfortable I will feel.
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I am an ordinary Beijing drifter. Although the employment situation in recent years is good, I can also live safely in a big city, but it is only limited to supporting my family, and my girlfriend has a rich family. These are also slowly discovered after our relationship. I always feel that such conditions will slowly put a lot of pressure on me. As far as consumption habits are concerned, I always choose more cost-effective items for the same purpose, rather than higher prices; in daily restaurants, I also take pains to taste all kinds of stores, maybe small shops in hutong; when buying gifts, I also take into account her needs and my abilities. I also want to try my best to give her a better life.
but I have to admit that some gaps cannot be achieved through hard work. I can't get a promotion and a raise through my personal ability to earn the wealth that her family has worked hard to gain for generations, and I have no way to learn more about her experience of traveling around the world. She never despised me, and never looked down on me because of it. On the contrary, she always used her method to give me some better opportunities, but such closeness made me feel undignified.
is probably an idea that has been instilled since childhood. Men have to support a family. When I find that the burden is getting heavier and heavier, I can't face our relationship squarely. I always care that I can't let her pay more money. I can't be a drag. Most of the so-called "self-esteem" comes from an inferiority complex. It is like wearing paper shackles, one side is the most intimate person, and the other is their self-esteem, just as the two ends of the scale are always high and low, my heart will go up and down.
maybe this is just my interest, and she will certainly care about my dignity and do something tolerant to me. I should find time to talk to her openly and tell her what I think. Before that, I should correct my mindset. Now that we have decided to keep going, we should actively face the difficulties, whether they are mutual or our own. Because in an intimate relationship, the most important thing is "sincerity" and "communication". Only by talking to each other and solving problems can we trust each other more and make the balance more stable.