want to see if you can live together.
then travel together.
I met a girl when I was doing a travel shoot before. She came to me to take a picture with her boyfriend. Many of the girls who asked me to take pictures later became my friends, so they often shared some of their interesting lives with me.
for example, this girl is 25 years old and her boyfriend is 27 years old. they have been in love for two years. Because they all think that boys don't seem to matter in terms of age, but girls at this age can't be lovelorn again, so the boy said, well, I'll give you a stable promise to get married. They have never lived together because the previous two years were in different places, and the girl went to graduate school in another place. now she is about to graduate, so she feels that she should do something with her boyfriend, so they decide to travel and choose a place in Thailand. because of lack of experience, air tickets and accommodation are not booked in a hurry. And before the trip, they hurriedly asked me to take a set of film photos for them, but it turned out to be their breakup portrait, and they broke up when they came back from the trip.
when the girl talked to me, she didn't see anything wrong. She didn't cry or realize. Just told me to break up peacefully, we are not suitable for each other. When I asked her why, she said that because the living habits of the two people were too different and she ordered all the air tickets and accommodation, her boyfriend didn't worry much, and she was very tired all the way.
she also said: "I hate it when he takes off his socks and throws them around. I hate that he grabs food with his hands without washing his hands. I hate that he likes to sleep late and wake up at noon. He used to coax me when we quarreled, but now he loses his temper with me on the streets of a foreign country and then has a cold war with me." She said that I had not found that he had so many shortcomings before, and I was to perfectionist to tolerate him everywhere. I tolerated him, who would tolerate me, and I paid so much.
finally, it is concluded that has different values and cannot agree with.
many people find that they are not suitable for each other after the trip, but many people also understand the meaning of each other during the trip. Travel is an effective way to test the appropriateness of a relationship.
this is a very interesting thing. When watching the besieged city in the past, Mr. Qian Zhongshu had such a point of view. Here, Chao Hsin-mei in the besieged city said:
honeymoon after marriage is in reverse order.
you should travel together for a month first.
after a month of boat servants,
the two sides have not yet seen through each other,
dislike each other, have not quarreled with each other, and
they still have to maintain their original engagement.
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this kind of couple promises not to divorce.
and when I was learning Japanese, I came across such a word, called Narita breakup. The origin of the word is that many couples break up directly at Narita Airport when they return from their honeymoon. About this word, there was a Japanese drama called Narita divorce in 1997. The story that happened to the protagonists Ichiro Hoshino and Shiko Tanaka is the same as what happened to the girl who asked me to take pictures and her boyfriend.
sometimes two people talk about whether they should eat cream for cake, whether they should use shower gel or soap when taking a bath, whether they should put their slippers neatly, whether they should chirp their mouths for dinner, whether they should wear a suit for their underwear, and whether they should wash such trivial things when they only have a pair of socks. Before they live a dull life without fuel, rice, oil, and salt, they are all regarded as Oh, our values are not in harmony, no, not appropriate.
Don't say that you don't care about such small things. Relationships are not in the workplace and can be solved rationally. sometimes when the other person is on your axis, you may be stubborn with him. if you can tolerate differences, if you see the other person clearly during many trips, you will know whether the other person is right for you.
includes making travel plans, whether to get up early and go to a scenic spot, whether to make a detour to buy some specialties, whether to go to places suitable for taking pictures but meaningless, whether to rent a car or buy a plane ticket in advance and how to face the emergencies and difficulties during the trip. As long as you are together, you will more or less encounter problems of one kind or another and have differences. Some people are good at implementing, some people are good at making plans, if the division of labor is not good, a person will inevitably feel that everything is done by himself, the other party does not care about anything, and then the other person is sometimes very aggrieved.
Why do you worry so much? I'm giving, too.
if you want to learn more about a person, go on a trip with him. His good or bad, temper and character are all spread out to you on the road, just like a couple who have been married for a long time, you can immediately feel whether you still have the possibility of running in together. Those who can make your journey full of fun and good memories will certainly be able to accompany you through the long way of life.